Holding on to the pain

Sometimes, relationships can be tough, we get stressed and break apart, someone cheats and the other is left shattered, or just plain old “I don’t see the stars when I look into your eyes anymore”…

Love fades but the wounds that they leave behind stay with us, they may heal and dull down, but they are there, like a pinch whenever we think about it….

Now, the hardest moment according to some would be to survive the separation, but people tend to forget that the feeling of separation is temporary, but the constant emptiness that you feel is permanent, waking up to an empty half bed, no good morning kisses, no one to grab from behind while they are cooking, or share your most intimate secrets

We recall the best part of our relationship everyday from then on and live them in a subconscious state, how they fixed you breakfast before you woke up, how they would remind you of your car keys everyday as you hurry down the stairs or how they’ll take you into your arms after a crappy day at work….

For the next few weeks(months probably) we probably live with the ghost of our relationship, Gone, but not really, lingering on to you like a parasite, that trades your energy with a few memories that act like drug to your system, you might feel like it’s helping you go on but in fact it’s just making your situation worse, eating you from the inside,

People will say you to remember the good parts of the relationship and move on, be glad that it was a wonderful experience and try to forget it, but this is exactly the moment your addiction takes decisions for you, you try to find ways to form it back, call them, text, meet them… Your desperation to live that supposed utopian relationship drives you insane and you slowly drive yourself into madness..

But, you don’t want to go back, there was a reason you separated right? focus on the bad parts, why you didn’t like them, the things that didn’t work out, how their nagging made you mad, how jealous they were or just not sure enough of what this relationship was, when they never made effort to contribute to the relationship as you did or that you never wanted them anymore and wanted to get out….

Be glad that you were saved from having disastrous results from your faulty relationship, it will help you despise them and you would hate to remember such a part of your life….

It’s not easy to forget, but you have to, so that you can let go of that pain and discomfort, and explore the better parts of your life that are still waiting for you…

Never hold it in, Let Go….

Pranav Drolia

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